Be it an argument with spouse, colleague or boss, most of the times, the best punch line comes to me only after the fight is over, and this couldn’t be truer for the table topics. 

I was much privileged to have represented my Area at the Division contest for Discovery Gardens, Dubai and though I didn’t win but I really enjoyed and learnt the most from this experience. In fact, I was determined all the more to never miss the chance to attempt the table topics in my club after this episode because I have an innate fondness to fail and fail till I really deserve to succeed. And I couldn’t help but reminisce the way, I could come up with great answers right after moving out of the stage.

Below are some examples:

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In the division contest, I was asked below question

Q: ‘Honesty is not the best policy’ and I thought that I came up with a decent answer. But below response hit me as soon as I left the stage..

 A:“Now true to God, how many of us in this room were never ever dishonest…There you go..

Yes, I am dishonest when i put on mask of self-regulation in front of kids to set a right example for them even though I am quite tempted to be honest and bang them at times.

Yes, I am dishonest when I put on the mask of being good with my spouse though I feel tempted to be honest to tell him that I am not interested to hear his constant office complaints.

Ironically, When I was small I used to think that we have to be always right but as I matured, I realized that nurturing human relations and emotions is far more imp than being right and wrong. And so, yes, We all put on masks in our lives and are dishonest at times because we try to understand the other persons situation & feelings rather than just hearing their words and just being right.

All in all, I am proud to say that Yes, I value Empathy more than that honesty because as not everything is black and white, human emotions/relationships has many facets rather than just being right/wrong.

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Similarly, I was asked in one of our club contests,

Q: ‘The role of music in your life’ and though I gave a decent response, I came up with a better answer right afterwards:

A: Who all in the room listen to music every day. How would be our lives without that music. Can we imagine a movie without music or attend a party/function/fun event without music?

 Like most of you, music comes to my aid at each step of my life. For ex: if I’m feeling down & need inspiration, I would listen to some inspiring songs which would instantly lift my spirits.

If my children are having a meltdown, I would hit on their fav ‘chicken’ song & could see their faces light up instantly.

After an argument with my spouse, I would put some mushy songs to diffuse the tension and lighten up the mood.

If I was bored, I would go to long drive with my favorite music and that would instantly destress and relax me.

Sometimes I feel, I should have gone for a career in music so that I am always surrounded by melodious music soothing my soul & spirit instead of being glued to computer screen all day...

Overall, I feel that music is a big blessing which gives strength, inspiration and joy to our existence & we should make best use of it to lighten and brighten our lives.

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Overall, Some of the lessons that I learnt along the way from attempting Table Topics are:

1. Talking slowly would help us organize our thoughts better. 
2. We can use PREP (point, reason, example, point) formula to frame the answer. Good strategy would be to Start with a question, iterate the point, connect with a personal story then sum it off.
3. Most ppl say that we need to go against the topic to be different. But I truly believe that we should go for whatever our heart and mind strongly feel about. No need to be under any pressure to go for or against, rather it’s good to speak your heart and mind out.
4. Don’t wait till red light to appear, amber light is a signal that your conclusion should be near.
5. We can utilize at least 20 seconds time before we start answering the topic (max is 30 secs). At least, a rough draft should be in mind before we start to talk.
6. Don’t leave any chance to attempt table topics in your club. Don’t restrict to your club & Expand your horizons by visiting other clubs
7. As with everything, practice can only make us better. Attempting table topics regularly be it with your family around the dinner table or in Table Topic WhatsApp group gives a good practice. Our mind quickly adapts to organizing thoughts coherently in short time and slowly we notice that we start getting better at it.
8. Create opportunities to face big stage more and more so that we get used to that kind of ambience and environment and the big stage doesn’t bog us down.

For the last point, I would quote one of the examples from the book “The Art of Public Speaking” by Dale Carnegie which is very relatable.

Did you ever notice in looking from a train window that some horses feed near the track and never even pause to look up at the thundering cars or train whistle, while just ahead in a house, a farmer’s wife will be nervously trying to quiet her scared horse as the train goes by..

How could you cure a horse that is afraid of cars – graze him in a back-woods lot where he could never see steam-engines or automobiles or drive or pasture him where he could frequently see the machines.

Applying the horse-sense to ridding yourself of self-consciousness and fear, if we face an audience as frequently as we can then we soon stop shying away..

In retrospect, I realized that for me, being a Trainer, the issue was not about the fear or self-consciousness, but it was only aligning my infinite thoughts & structuring it into a speech in seconds, I needed 2 mins but now with practice I aim to reduce this time to 20 secs. To achieve this, I set aside 10 mins everyday to pick up a topic and rehearse it to structure a neat speech, be it at dinner table or in my spare time on Table Topic whatsapp group, this was something achievable.

‘Small steps make a big difference’, so have you identified what is your most challenging part of the Table topic and what daily steps are you taking to tame your weakness & convert it into your strength. I am sure with a bit of strategy and discipline, we can aim to be on that big stage acing the most dreaded Table Topics session and that could well be the Onset of ‘Making of a Champion’. After all, we are all champions in our own way, but the ones who really believed that they deserved to be Champions were the only ones who made it. I believe that you would be your clubs next champion, do you think I am right? Whatever is your answer, you are right!!